pero, te amo

isn’t it funny how life moves in circles?

3 years ago, I was halfway through an 8 month long, self-imposed purgatory. of course, I didn’t know it would be 8 months at the time. I simply asked him to wait, and so he did. 8 long months of flirtation and heartache, with more tears than I’d ever cried over a boy (but also a whole lot more joy). and so, from november (17th) until june (30th) he waited.

isn’t it funny how life moves in circles?

last night he said we needed to talk. I asked, “Is it bad?”

“No,” he replied.

(wrong, I thought, talks like this are always bad)

he thinks we should wait until august. time is more against us than for us at this point, and we’re setting ourselves up to fail. our conflicting, busy schedules have never worked out in the past. and this summer, when we’re mostly in different hemispheres, we’ll end up crashing and burning (again).

but august, he speaks of august like it’s this shining beacon of promise for reconciliation. if we can just make it to august.

over and over again I said, “8 months.”

in shock.

it wasn’t until I slept on it that I remembered just how long he waited for me.

isn’t it funny how life moves in circles?

3 short/long years have passed. we have more history now, more memories, more trust issues, more love. more songs to remind us of each other.

I know more spanish now than I did then.

and yet, here we are again. the waiting. 8 months (we both remember how well that worked out last time).

I’ll do it though. when I tell you that something, no, everything has changed I’m not lying. I’ll give you your 8 months like you gave me mine. maybe then we can stop moving in circles, and start moving forward.

maybe august can be our always.

soy un idiota te perdi, pero, te amo.